takeaways from a huberman podcast
first read "The key to any therapeutic relationship is interactive regulation… The therapist and the client are interacting right brain to brain similar to how a mother interacts right brain to right brain with an infant. The therapeutic alliance is everything. The therapist has to surrender and switch to right brain responses rather than left brain responses. We are constantly tracking the client states of arousal. the therapist is always listening left brain to left brain but is constantly listening in between the words and utilizing right brain to interpret unconscious. synch physiology between self and patient"
In therapy, we often think about the conscious mind—what we’re aware of, what we’re trying to work through. But beneath this surface, there’s a vast and powerful realm at play: the unconscious. And what if I told you that the unconscious isn’t just a solitary internal experience, but one that’s deeply relational?
The idea that the unconscious is relational shifts the lens through which we can understand our emotional lives. It’s not just about what’s happening inside of us; it’s about how our unconscious is always engaging with another’s unconscious. This interaction—this dance between minds—is happening continuously, especially in therapeutic settings. It’s the space where real emotional connection and healing begin.
right brain to right brain: the unspoken connection
The concept of right brain to right brain communication is central to understanding this relational unconscious. Our right brain is responsible for a vast range of functions: intuition, imagery, creativity, emotional regulation, and processing novel information. It’s also where our ability to form deep emotional connections resides, far beyond mere words.
In therapy, this right brain connection is experienced through moments of eye contact, body synchronicity, and the subtle, often unspoken energy between two people. These moments of shared, non-verbal understanding—when one person’s body language, tone, and energy aligns with the other’s—create a space for profound emotional resonance. The therapist’s ability to meet the client in this deep, unspoken way creates the foundation for trust and healing.
It’s not just about the words spoken during a session; it’s the energy exchanged through these unspoken channels. Eye contact. The rhythm of the breath. A gesture of comfort. These are the ways our unconscious minds communicate. The deeper our right-brain connection, the more effective the therapy becomes. It’s in this space that emotional healing occurs—where the therapist becomes a mirror, reflecting back not just words, but the full emotional and intuitive landscape of the client.
emotional connection as the core of healing
At the heart of all therapeutic work is the ability to connect emotionally with another human being. This connection isn’t just a nice add-on; it’s the very foundation of therapeutic transformation. Research and practice have shown that the most significant therapeutic effects come from creating a space where the client feels seen, heard, and understood—not just cognitively, but emotionally.
This is why a therapist’s ability to attune to the client’s emotional state, to meet them at a deep level of empathy, and to establish emotional safety is so crucial. In these moments, the unconscious minds of both individuals are in communication, offering a space for healing and growth that transcends cognitive understanding.
When two people can connect at this unconscious level, it’s as though an emotional alignment happens, where the therapist’s presence allows the client to feel more grounded in their own emotional truth. This connection fosters an environment where difficult emotions can be explored and released, and where new, healthier patterns of relating to oneself and others can emerge.
the right brain and the highest levels of human behavior (!!!)
The right brain is where some of the highest levels of human behavior emerge. It's the realm of intuition, creativity, and imagery. It’s where we access metaphors, music, poetry, humor, and art. These things, which we might dismiss as “soft” or “subjective,” are in fact essential to our survival as social beings. They help us process and make meaning of the world around us, and they’re crucial to emotional healing.
In therapy, these right-brain functions are often at the heart of transformation. Imagery, metaphors, and creativity can help us express what words alone cannot. When we’re able to tap into this creative, intuitive side of the brain, we begin to connect with deeper truths about ourselves. This is especially powerful in trauma recovery, where words may fail, but the right-brain response to imagery, symbolism, or even humor, can unlock the emotional processing that is needed for healing.
Moreover, this right-brain realm is also where some of our most fundamental human qualities are located: morality, compassion, spirituality, and love. These are the virtues that guide us toward connection with others, and they are not just mental constructs—they are embodied experiences, felt in the deepest parts of our being. The relational unconscious allows us to experience these qualities through shared experiences and emotional resonance, which is why they are so deeply tied to our sense of humanity.
every emotion has an adaptive function
Finally, it’s essential to understand that every emotion we experience has an adaptive function. Whether it’s joy, fear, anger, sadness, or love, each emotion serves a purpose. Emotions are not “good” or “bad”; they are signals from our unconscious, guiding us toward what is important for our well-being.
For example, fear can be a signal to protect ourselves from harm, while joy can help us identify moments of connection and fulfillment. Anger helps us set boundaries, and sadness invites us to grieve and process loss. Even emotions that we tend to view as “negative” hold vital information about our inner world and our needs.
In therapy, we work with emotions not to suppress or eliminate them, but to understand them, honor them, and learn from them. This process is deeply relational—the therapist helps the client decode and navigate their emotional landscape in a way that honors its adaptive function. By working through these emotions, clients can begin to shift old patterns, release stuck energy, and develop healthier emotional responses.
the dance of connection and transformation
The therapeutic process is, at its core, a relational exchange between unconscious minds. By connecting deeply with another person—through eye contact, body synchronicity, and emotional attunement—we unlock the highest levels of human behavior and creativity. It is through this connection that healing takes place.
As we learn to honor our emotions, listen to the wisdom of our unconscious, and connect intuitively with others, we step into a more integrated, whole version of ourselves. The power of this relational unconscious can lead to deep transformation, not just in our therapy sessions, but in every interaction we have. When we engage from this place of connection—right brain to right brain—we tap into the vast reservoir of emotional and spiritual growth that is always available to us.
Healing is not just about talking through our problems; it’s about connecting deeply—intuitively, emotionally, and spiritually—with the parts of ourselves that long to be understood and loved. Through this deep connection, we step into a more compassionate, creative, and embodied way of being, where the highest levels of human behavior can flourish.
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